Second Guessing...

Are you a second guesser? I sure am. I'll do something, say something...and then fret and worry (and drive Ken batty) about it for hours. But hey, we all need quirks, right?

Yesterday, C* came home from school with his usual good and bad news. His bad news was that on his spelling pretest, he had written "here" then changed it to "hear." And well...he second guessed himself. The teacher gives the kids a Monday spelling pretest on words unseen. If they get them all correct, they are "special spellers" and have a more challening list. C* is one of those talented spellers...must get that from his Papa or Dad. The special spellers list is significantly harder than the regular 2nd grade spelling list. But C* easily spells the words on both lists. Plus, b/c he has so much spelling homework, why not let him have the special words to practice instead of the simple words that he already knows. Also, C* knew from the start that his mistake was "writing down the wrong homophone." That's why he told me. (And, btw, homophone is the same as homomyn which I learned to say.)

So I sent an email to the teacher. Explained that DS knew his mistake was in writing the wrong homophone....that he knew all of the regular words...that he knew 8 out of the 10 challenging words and that I'd like him to study and be tested on the harder list. C* agreed that he would forego the trip to the treasure chest if he earned it on Friday's spelling test. (Which of course, he earns every week.) We would continue reviewing with him the difference between "here" and "hear" (which he gets right on his regular work 99.9% of the time) and other homophones. (Homonym/homophone...why can't they just stick to one word. My dd gets confused when I say "minus" for her subtraction work. They say "take away" these day!)

Then I fretted and worried as only a mother can do best. Did I do the right thing? Should he have just been bored with the words that came so easily. After looking at the word a couple of times, he knew how to spell "camouflage," one of the harder words. I just learned that word YESTERDAY as I was practicing with him. Worry, worry, worry.

This morning, the teacher emailed me back. Yes, she had noticed that he switched the words and had mixed feelings about giving him the basic list. She thought it was a great idea. Whew...sweet relief!

Now...to figure out how to stop worrying about all his Cub Scout awards that just didn't make it home from the Pack Meeting last night.


Lin said...

well, you sound like a normal mother, worrying about the kids. it's a delicate balance to not over worry and thus put more pressure on your kids. one of the hardest things is scouting and especially the eagle scout award...more mothers are pushing their boys to get their eagles younger I think to feel that they are good moms.

having four sons in scouting, as i was working with one of them he had all his awards but one and his eagle project done but wouldn't finish his last badge...at that point i realized that i wanted him to get his eagle so i would feel i was a successful mother. so i backed away and let him not get his eagle. it wasn't worth the stress in our lives-his or mine. free agency is a difficult principle to practice. hang in there, mothering is a never ending course in nurturing, patience and self improvement. prayer always helps....

we can't live our dreams through our kids' successes but rather be an example of someone who has their own interests and talents to develop but is supportive of what our kids choose or choose not to do.

Rochelle W said...

I am also a second guesser.